Lampes Lumps

Picture of the Dick!

Spotted Dick

Every year my Neighbor/Co-Leader/Friend expect some kind of gift from the girls in our troop, just like they give their teachers at the end of the year or their soccor coaches but every year we get nothing, not even at Christmas! wtf~ really I think they should give us a little something for heaven sakes we give them a kid free weekend every year when we take them camping! So my Neighbor/Co-Leader/Friend gave me a gift, yes it was all regifted because that's how we do things (she always get's smelly lotions & candles that they can't use because of allergies) So she let me know before i opened the best gift of all it has been regifted a lot already and of course I vowed to keep the regifting of it alive, now who do I give it to?? anyway I'm sure you want to  know what it was huh? it's made by Heinz and it's called Spotted Dick sponge cake. How funny is that? I showed my mom and she said I bet it's good and wanted to open it, I told her it was not to be open but to be regifted. I told my hubby what she said and his reply "does she know if there's spots on it that you should eat it?" He's a funny one! Here's a picture of the Spotted Dick taken with one of my jelly lens~ they are so cool, I thought they had to fit on a small lens opening but they have sticky stuff on the back so they can stick to any lens and then they easily come off! I'll add the picture later, the computer is being too slow right now a storm just came thru earlier!

Trailer Trash

Nothing to fun and exciting but I always have a good Mom story or two! The other day we were all (kids, hubby, mom and I) were on the back porch when my Mom decides to bust my chops about how mean I am to her! Well I said "I'm not mean I just say what needs to be said and if you take it as mean that's up to you" then she said you think I 'm Trailer Trash, I replied "I never said that!" (which I didn't) then I ask her her plans for the weekend because we all know she has to go out but someone needs to be responsible and know where she's going and with who so I also ask. She said she's going with boyfriend #1 on Thursday night, a lunch date with #2 on Friday then out with #3 Friday night!!!!! My daughter hears this and says to me is she cheating on boyfriend #1? I said ask her~ she did and she said Yes, but they are all just friends and I can date can't I? I said Mom at your age (64) it's more than just friends, there's no time for this dating around crap! So I follow up with Mom and #1 had to reschedule until next week and now #2 has moved into the #1 spot because he is taking her shopping and Lord knows Mom loves to spend money!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did make a promise to my children that I would not be like her when I am old! My son said yeah, if dad's not with us anymore I don't want you dating~ I said I will be to busy for that I will be spending my time with my Grand Children having fun!

Where have you Peed?

So this long weekend my hubby, my dad, the kids and each had a friend when to our cabin. Saturday night everyone fell asleep early expect hubby and I so we thought it was a good idea to do some shots of jagermeister~ I only had 2 I know when to say when Hubby however doesn't so he had 4 to 5 and a case of beer I do believe. We finally decide to hit the hay and a bit after (not really sure how much after as I was sleeping) I hear a splashing sound and I woke up thinking it was Moose (my dog) peeing on the puppy pad (don't want them going outside in the pitch dark since I don't know what the hell is out there) but to my surprise it was my hubby next to the bed peeing on the closet door! I said "what are you doing?" to which he replied " I am watering the cactus we'll talk about it in the morning" then he stopped peeing immediately and came back to bed then 10 min's later got up and when to the bathroom this time! He then peed for about 20 mins~ he always pee's forever!

Chip Dip anyone??

I have been obsessed with fusing plastic~ to the point I have a bag on my back door (which is in my kitchen) and anything plastic gets put in there~ yes, even the plastic pouch inside the cereal! So I wanted to make a "chip" messenger bag ~ well it came out bigger than I expected but still looking good~ well to me anyway! I did learn some lessons and the next one with be even better~ My backspace button keeps getting stuck, I have to backspace a lot and the reason for the stuckness you ask~ well I spilled my woodchuck on the keyboard! I know can you believe I wasted some fine woodchuck?

whew!

Long time no post ~ all for good reason, life has been a whirl wind and not so much in a good way! Let's start with my fun Mother stories! So my mother had been wearing these really really short robes and I'm sure your like so what's wrong with that? well what's wrong is she's naked under those short robes! So as you can imagine the anger was building and building with each day the naked short robe appeared until one day I get home from a crappy day at work and my mother is smoking out the back door (yes, in the naked robe) and the children and I are all in the kitchen when I announce "look kids grandma is in her giblet robe" My son (who's 15) say's "Mom what's a giblet robe?" I said "well if your Grandma bends over you'll see her giblets!" my daughter had no clue but my son was obviously disgusted. My mother said nothing and when and changed robes. So then a bit later I took a friday off to head to camp early with my girl scouts when mom came up stairs in her pj' s and said her dogs had peed on her robes so she wore my sons sweatshirt jacket outside on the back porch to smoke, keep in mind the jacket was waist length. So I am washing up some dishes and have a full view of her on my back porch and as I'm washing I'm praying (shock I know) that my neighbors do not come outside and see her in her shorty shorts pj's, these things are so short if she walked her "giblets" might be seen! So I say nothing and when I get to camp (my co-leader is my neighbor) I start to tell the "giblet" story and  my neighbor says "oh, yeah my husband came in one day and said I saw Tracie's mom outside in her robe and I don't think she was wearing anything underneath" her response was "no Wade, I'm sure she had pj's on under" to which I bust out laughing and said "Becky, she was indeed naked under that robe!" ~ oh the horror! so I am now stewing in "giblet" juice all weekend so when I got home from camp on Sunday that was the first thing I told my mom that she needed to wear more approiate pj's and robes and that the neighbors noticed her lack of attire! so she wigged out and I then had to remind her who's house it really was, then she went on "so I can't wear my shorty shorts this summer" I said "no, you can't" and she said so "I can't lay out in the backyard and tan?" I said "no, you can't the three mother's here (my neighbors and I) don't ever lay out so our children are not use to 1/2 naked women running around the backyard so again "NO" and really who wants to see a 64 year old women in her bikini ??? Don't get me wrong she looks great for her age but she still has 64 year old skin and that skin is wrinkled and sagging! Also know that while I was growing up these things were never an issue she never wore shorty shorts, giblet robes and giblet pj's so as you can imagine it's a change for me! here is a picture of the giblet robe, I had to act like I was taking a picture of the dogs!!!!!!!!!!!

scrappy Blanket

  I'll tell you some of my mother crap before I show you the scrappy blanket! I am ok writing about her on the internet because she can't figure out how to go online! She bought a laptop and had the geek quad come out and hook everything up, wireless mind you and for a year couldn't figure it out after several of us tried to show her so my son got the laptop for his birthday last year! Well my mother for those of you don't know tried to take her life awhile back and called me to say good bye, well this will be her 3rd attempt and the 1st time calling one of  her children to say good bye. Of course my brother is none to happy that she didn't feel the need to call him, which is a whole other story in itself! So I get her thru that and move her into my house , get her set up with counseling and a social worker to help her with her Medicare and social security, mom is 64. However she tells me that she's not an alcoholic (all of her relationships have come to an end because of her drinking and she was wasted when she tried to take her life everytime!) that she drinks because she's depressed~ WTF. So she's not drinking however she seems to put away a 6 pack of o'doules, to me that seems like she is just tricking herself because she never drank beer before so in her mind she knows the taste of beer and that it has alcoholic. She claims she is tired of drinking coffee and wants something else to drink~ for god sakes lady when was the last time you were in a grocery store? they have so many different things to drink that it's crazy!!!! Now for her clothes~ that women has more clothes that she could ever wear and I'm not just saying that it really is unbelievable, and today I call her and she's out buy more! Oh yeah, she still goes out to the bar every weekend and I had asked her to watch my kids so my hubby and I could go out for our 10 year anniversary and she said ok but the week before I reminded her and she asked if someone else could because she had plans! Don't worry there's more but that will be all for now~ I am sure most of you don't have a crazy mom like mind so thank your lucky stars!

So I have all these leftover balls of yarn, some store bought and some that I spun so there is this blanket pattern from stitch diva http://www.stitchdiva.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=SDS-039  so I whipped this up, it's not very big I just thought it would be good for a lap blanket.

lot's of Crap swirling in my head!

I have so much to spit out but I always want to show you some pictures to back it up and when I get ready to spew I realize the pictures are at work, which right now it crazy busy not leaving me time to mess around~ which is fair!

So I decided that I want to make my own items~ to 1) save some money & 2) feeling that it's just the better way to go with all the stuff pumped into products that are unnecessary. Don't get me wrong I am not so green, I really want to be one of those people but I am not even close but I am going to give it an old college try! I think too with making my own products steamed from my nephew who is autistic and is allergic to everything~ I thought the things I am whipping up would be good for him too! So I finally made my own laundry soap! Only 3 ingredients~ felps soap, washing soda & borax~ just grate the soap and mix a 1/2 cup of each and use only 1Tb in your wash or 2Tb for a real dirty load (sounds dirty huh?) so guess what everyone is getting for Christmas? yep you guessed laundry soap made by me with a fancy label:) Then I have been using dry sheets because my little liquid softener dispenser broke and then we got tight on moola so I switched to target brand and only 1 sheet per load BUT I read somewhere (I wish I could give credit but I can't remember where I read it!) that you can cut up fabric squares and put your liquid softener in a spray bottle then squirt about 6 sprays on a square and throw it in the dryer~ this is said to last a very long time and when the liquid softener builds up on the fabric just wash them~ so that is already in the works too! Now here's the best part ~ I don't do my own laundry! My mother moved in and that is her one job in the house and let me tell you I never have had all my clothes clean! and that lady can fold clothes like a mother F**** I don't think she knows what a hanger is cuz my whole dresser is covered with clothes! I have more mom stories that are to come! but I have now forced my ways on her! I found the recipe for the laundry soap on instructables.com and if you haven't been there yet go cuz it is the bomb you can find out how to make all kinds of crap!

Mom's moved in!

Well now I have my Mother living we us ~ had to kick my Dad out so my Mom could move in! Now don't think I kicked him out with no place to go, he has been staying with someon for the last 5 months and comin home only a handfull of times! So needless to say it's been a bit stressful, my dad was easy he would just stay in his room not to be seen until he was called up for dinner or he would be at the pub most nights, with my hubby in tow BUT with Mom she' s all up in our business all the time but we are adjusting and she does do all our laundry so that's good and I now she is safe and ok! Oh the whole reason for the post is of course centered around a pictures of our Moosie! Mom came with her 2 dogs which both are females and one is the sister to my Tinker Bell but now Moosie is a pimp with his ladies! His motto "Slap a Bitch" keeping your pimp hand strong!

Finished!

We all have tons of projects that we want to do but some how we never have the time! well when I went to Vegas in Jan I finally did one of those projects and now today looking at the pictures I noticed I used the same color yarn that the pattern pictures used! Unplanned! Keep in mind this is my first attempt at a cable stitch! I no longer have these hand warmers as my daughter has taken them from me and is calling them hers! Here's the link to the  pattern so you can whip yourself up a pair, they really do whip up quickly! http://knitty.com/ISSUEsummer06/index.html